I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom
My dick has been on fire for over an hour
I told my chef what happened and he was like “you only make that mistake about fourteen times”
He tells me this story about this time he had gotten out of a chili class in which he had been cutting habenjero peppers all class and he goes back to his dorm and starts finger blasting his girlfriend and she stars SCREECHING.
She he fukin SPRINTS to the dorm prep kitchen and gets a gallon of heavy cream and runs back to the room. He starts pouring this shit all over her Cooze right, and she’s like shoveling cream into her hole. And he’s freaking out. Like he’s so sure that this chick is don’t with him forever.
So they deal with this thing and the cream works and he’s like massaging it into her pussy for like a half an hour because you have to constantly soak it to nullify the habenjero oils or whatever. And she gets INTO IT.
She fucking CUMS
And my chef tells me this stupid ass story and looks me in the eye and says to me
“Nothing says I love you like a gallon of heavy cream in her pussy”
And I think that’s the best sentence I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
Yes good story but WHY IS IT IN LIKE 8 DIFFERENT PARTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT PARAGRAPHS ARE.
ITS THIS. YOU COULD HAVE DONE THIS.
SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE AT WORK AND CANT POST EVERYTHING AT ONE TIME FUCK OFF
Just watched another recommendation from my film professor I'm super excited about (like I was with Possession) and was wondering your thoughts! What do you think about Daisies (1966) if you've seen it?
I LOVE Daisies. It’s got this crazy energy, and Věra Chytilová, whom I think set out to make a film that was kind of a critique of consumerism and over-consumption (among other things), ends up showing how seductive beauty and material things can be, so that the film has this lovely tension between restraint and decadence, the physical and the sublime, youth and tradition. It’s gorgeous to look at and is also quite surreal. I don’t know enough about the history of (what was then) Czechoslovakia to catch all of the political references, but part of the beauty of the film is that the wildness of the main characters––two young women both named “Marie”––is so contagious that the film sort of overwhelms you aesthetically, so you get pleasantly disoriented and carried along by its madcap energy and visuals. Highly recommend, thanks for asking!
Previous home details: Darwin
was born in Canada as part of the exotic pet trade in 2012, and had
lived in a family home in Toronto. He was found in an IKEA parking lot
in December 2012 after escaping from his owner’s car and was seized by
local authorities. A social media and worldwide news sensation, Darwin
has resided at SBFPS ever since.
Condition upon arrival: Darwin
had been imprinted by humans, which rarely bodes well for a monkey. He
was very insecure upon arrival, and needed to be the centre of
everyone’s attention. He was sheltered from the other monkeys until he
got used to his surroundings.
Progress: Since
his arrival Darwin has grown in strides - learning to be far more
monkey than human. He is grooming Sweet Pea, and calls to Julien and
Lexy - mimicking their vocalizations and learning how to speak macaque.
He has grown in size and confidence as well, and was slowly transitioned
towards having multiple caregivers who he can trust and love as his
‘troop’, as he had no real monkey mother to show him the ropes.
Personality Traits: Darwin
is a cheeky little guy, that’s for sure! He loves to play all day, and
is always bouncing off the walls with excitement, especially when his
favourite people come to visit! He loves to play tricks on you when
you’re not looking, like any adolescent!
Favourite Activity: Darwin
loves Curious George! He has a Curious George doll whom he takes to his
pool to give a bath, and grooms him and tries to get him to drink. He
also loves swinging on his fire hose.
Favourite Food: Darwin loves grapes, dates and cherries - but cherries definitely top the list!
Wish list from staff: Darwin can always use new and exciting toys, and he loves his fire hose swings and swimming in kiddie pools!
Anonymous
